Break out your trusty number 2 pencils! It’s time for a Baby Jeneric quiz. Don’t worry – it’s multiple-choice. You have 10 minutes – go!
1. At 29 weeks, Baby Jeneric most resembles a:
a. Baby.
b. Kangaroo.
c. Midget alien with 63 feet.
d. Yellow squash.
2. At 29 weeks, the activity of Baby Jeneric could be summarized as:
a. A one-person polo match, complete with horses.
b. Dancing with the stars auditions.
c. An episode of Murder, She Wrote.
d. All of the above.
e. None of the above.
f. Choice a and b.
g. Choice b and c.
h. Choice a and c.
3. Jenni’s belly button has:
a. Popped.
b. Not popped.
c. Disappeared completely, making us wonder if she is an alien being.
4. The life vest:
a. Fits.
b. Does not fit.
c. Who cares? I already lost out on this contest anyway.
5. Eric enjoys talking to the baby. The baby responds by:
a. Ignoring Eric and continuing to sleep.
b. Going crazy and stomping all over the place.
c. Panicking and crying.
6. Is Baby Jeneric’s room ready?
a. Yes, of course!
b. Are you kidding? Have they even figured out which room is for the baby?
c. No, but it’s close. A few final touches is all that’s left.
d. Hah! There are things that Wily Jeneric has no control over and the room will be finished who-knows-when.
7. There are a lot of things Jenni can’t do, now that she’s 29 weeks pregnant. What does she miss the most?
a. Cleaning the house. Really, who knew you could miss not being able to lug a vacuum up and down stairs?
b. Cleaning the kitty litter.
c. Gardening. To be fair, Jenni can garden, but she has to wear gloves, which she hates to do.
d. Seeing her ankles. Yes, she can bend over that far, but the swelling has been pretty constant since month 5.
8. There are a lot things Eric has to do, now that Jenni’s 29 weeks pregnant. What new task does he enjoy the most?
a. Cleaning the house. Vacuuming can be so liberating.
b. Cleaning the kitty litter. The cats have started to love Eric the most.
c. Gardening. Eric has a new-found love for pulling clover. We hear this might be genetic.
d. Grocery shopping. Between morning sickness and swollen ankles, Eric’s come to know and love our local Wegman’s. Can you say free-sample Sundays?
9. Wily Jeneric has two cats. How do they feel about the impending new human?
a. They don’t know and don’t care.
b. They are alarmed at how Jenni’s belly moves and don’t enjoy being kicked by an unknown entity.
c. A new human? Will they give us milk??
d. A new human? Will it let us outside??
10. Which blog comment has disturbed us the most?
a. Are groundhogs red meat?
b. I’m not sure about groundhogs, but squirrel meat is like pork in color.
c. I think this situation calls for landmines.
d. You should eat the groundhog.
Bonus Question
When Wily Jeneric told friends and family of the impending Baby, the reactions were varied. Who had the best reaction?
a. Jenni’s Mom, who didn’t understand and couldn’t believe what we were saying, but cried anyway.
b. Eric’s Mom, who first guessed that the thing she wanted most was a trip to Hawaii, then realized a grandchild would be better and burst into tears.
c. Friend Mark, who thought Jenni had visited an alien museum and was using souvenirs to pull a prank on him.
d. Friend Greg who immediately asked that the baby be named after him.
e. Friend Nina who thought the first ultrasound photos were obviously faked and wouldn’t believe Jenni until a third party confirmed the story.
4 comments:
The pencil isn't working on the computer screen. I'll have to use the keyboard.
1. Midget Alien - There is 11 weeks left - lots of time to change and the 63 feet make the dancing and polo match (see 2) more fun.
2. f - One alien baby match with dancing. Except of course if Eric is talking to the baby
3. Jenni's is harboring an alien, so I think her belly button has disappeared, to leave us wondering if she is human
4. Who cares if the vest fits, I am not winning.
5. As mentioned in answer to 3 - the baby sleeps when Eric talks to it or at least pretends to.
6. The room will be finished the day the baby comes home from the hospital. So I guess Wiley Jeneric has no control over it.
7. I think Jenni is missing gardening although with Gus decimating the vegetables there isn't that much to do.
8. I don't think the cats would respond to the kitty litter being cleaned with love. I think Eric is enjoying the free samples at Wegmans
9. This is a trick question. Lady Argon doesn't like getting kicked, and is eager to be let outside by this new human. Acadia is waiting for the good milk, other than that she doesn't care. Soy milk, skimed and heated milk doesn't count as good.
10. I thought that Bruce knowing that squirrel meat is like pork the most disturbing. Although wanting to eat the groundhog was disturbing.
Bonus: Tough question. Mark's reponse was somewhat correct (look at answers to #1,2,3). However I do like the trip to Hawaii reponse. Has Nina seen you lately or does she still think this blog is a hoax.
Wow I didn't plan too write so much. Oh well.
I can't handle a quiz this long. Besides, I'm already going to win the life jacket contest, so I have nothing left to prove.
I like this convention of putting adjectives in front of people's names, like "Friend Greg", "Friend Mark", etc. Of course, you know you're in trouble when you get called things like "Acquaintance Bob" or "Social Parasite Dave" or "Why Are You Calling Me Here? Tim". Maybe the next time you see me, you'll be calling me "Your Blog Comments Are Not Amusing Chris".
Teresa's got a point. I feel like a Palm Beach Co. voter.
1.b. Kangaroo.
>>Was that supposed to be a Rorschach test?
2.a. A one-person polo match, complete with horses.
3. a. Popped.
4. a. Fits.
>>Still in the contest, bay-bee!
5. a. Ignoring Eric and continuing to sleep.
>>Which is just normal human behavior.
6. c. No, but it’s close. A few final touches is all that’s left.
7. b. Cleaning the kitty litter.
>>That's a privilege in most US households.
8. d. Grocery shopping. Between morning sickness and swollen ankles, Eric’s come to know and love our local Wegman’s. Can you say free-sample Sundays?
>> Eric enjoys cleaning kitty litter already, so that was clearly not the answer.
9.c. A new human? Will they give us milk??
10. d. You should eat the groundhog.
Bonus d. Friend Greg who immediately asked that the baby be named after him.
>>If it involves Greg, it is always the best answer.
1. A. Baby - With only two months left I hope your ultrasound techs have identified that you have not been impregnated by an alien or a mutant squash. Did they matriculate through a mail-in university?
2. B. Musically inclined parents should hopefully have a baby with style and panache
3. C. Not popped; my fondest wish is to never see it.
4. D. Fits but a little tight and the little nipper will cooperate so I can win with my Labor Day bet.
5. A. Even I fall asleep with Eric talks and I don't have to...yah know...grow organs and a brain and other necessary things.
6. C. Rumors have it that Wiley Jeneric has been quite busy lately. Since they already have a bun in the oven, we shall assume it is because they are preparing for the Momsen-to-be-Named Late. Hey do we get to vote on that too? Do we start a betting pool?
7. D. Loosing one's ankles is truly sad. No way, cleaning is ever missed since it leaves more time for knitting. Gardening, Smardening? Guss has taken care of the need to garden and it has nothing to do with pregnancy.
8. D! A way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
9. In a world where the cats are cognizant of things around them, Acadia, the milk fiend, votes for C. Lady Argon votes for D. But in reality, they get fed, Eric scoops, and scratching & play time occur so I will have to vote A.
10. The correct answer is "E. All of the Above."
Bonus: I hope it is B because Baby Jeneric can hold it over Grandma's head for quite some time.
Post a Comment